Harm Read online

  Delores says, ‘One four nine seven. Open up.’

  The lock turns and the door swings open. Two guards reach for their guns. I shoot one in the leg before she can draw and she goes down. I put the gun to Delores’s head and the other guard backs off.

  ‘Gun and belt over here,’ I say.

  She unclips her belt, throws it to my feet and lays her gun beside it. I tighten my grip on Delores’s neck and point my gun at the unarmed guard.

  ‘Cuff yourself to her,’ I say, pointing to the guard on the floor who is cursing and trying to apply pressure to her thigh to stop the bleeding. As the cuffs lock, I push Delores towards the two of them.

  ‘Now her,’ I say.

  The unarmed guard handcuffs Delores to the wounded guard and all three are locked together on the floor. I take the wounded guard’s gun, put it in the corner out of their reach, and put the gun from the belt on the floor into my back pocket. I unclip the handcuffs from the belt I am wearing and cuff Delores to the bars on the inside of the door we entered by. I try various keys in the lock of the external door until one of them turns. It occurs to me that I won’t get through the gate wearing a weapon belt so I take it off and toss it out of reach of the guards. As a parting gift I empty a pepper spray into each of their faces, and leave.

  The balmy Texas air wraps itself round me like a warm blanket as I walk along the perimeter wire towards the main gate. I hear a distant scream from somewhere above and a maniacal laugh echoing after it. I find an ID card in my shirt pocket and see that I am Delores Skepski. I memorise her number as I approach the gate, but the solitary male guard slouching outside the guardhouse merely nods at me, releases a lever on a side door and swings it open. I nod back at him as I walk through the door and across a grass area to the road. The green Chevrolet is parked a short distance away. I unlock it, get in and relax at the wheel for a moment. I put the gun in the glove compartment, check the map is there, turn on the ignition and gun the engine.

  10

  I’ve left Dave in the pub. He’s seen some mates come in and gone over to them, and I’ve slipped out the back door. I’m walking up Westbourne Park Road, looking at the new moon in the starry sky and thinking about what Dave’s said. The air’s still warm and the pubs haven’t chucked out yet, so the street’s fairly quiet. A car slows down and crawls along beside me. I cross the pavement and walk beside the railings. The driver’s an old baldy with horn rimmed specs. He decides I’m not a brass and accelerates away. He’ll be lucky to get home with his wallet tonight.

  Dave’s said he’ll grass me for Johnny if I don’t do Nick Bailey. I doubt if he would because it would cost him his reputation if it was known, unless he can get the police to keep his name out of it. I reckon he’s decided to make me take care of Nick because he’s scared of doing it himself but he wants the credit. If I refuse, he’ll either grass me or tell his Dad, and then I’m either dead or inside for a long time. I can’t disappear because of the kids. I’d leave Mum behind no trouble, but where could I take the kids with no money? I know I’ll have to do it. I’ve done it once and I can do it again. I don’t care about Nick Bailey, it’ll only be one less nasty violent bastard on the manor. I just need to make sure I’m not caught.

  I get back to our street. Claire will still be at ours and she’ll ask me what he’s said. I don’t want her involved. No one must know, except Dave, and I can handle him later.

  When I get indoors, Mum’s passed out on the mattress and Claire’s at the table holding a glass of gin.

  ‘They’re all tucked up, good as gold,’ she says.

  ‘Asleep?’

  ‘I think so. Jack’s been coughing a bit.’

  In the bedroom, I can see Georgie lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. She doesn’t look at me.

  I say, ‘You all right?’

  She nods a bit without taking her eyes off the ceiling. I watch her staring for a moment. She’s hardly said a word since that night and I don’t know what to do for the best. I can’t take her to the doctor or anything. “Hello doctor, have you got something for a nine-year-old girl who’s had a man stabbed to death on top of her while he was in the middle of raping her?” I just hope she’ll come round and be her bright lovely self again. At least Jack’s all right. He thinks it was a bad dream and we’ve told him it was.

  I go back to the kitchen.

  Claire says, ‘Well, what did he say?’

  ‘Wanted to know if I’d seen him.’

  ‘Do you reckon he knows anything?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘Did he ever come round here with him, after that first time?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Did he say he was missing?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I suppose he wouldn’t.’

  ‘I think we’re all right. If he knew anything, he would have said.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  I yawn and say, ‘Thanks for minding them.’

  ‘No bother. Your mum was more trouble.’

  ‘Eh?’

  ‘Kept calling me Doreen and telling me I was out of order and she was going to tell Maurice on me.’

  ‘That’s her sister. Got killed in the war. She had an affair with an American airman while her old man Maurice was off on the Ark Royal, then she got killed by a bomb. She’s always on about it.’

  ‘She ain’t right, is she?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I’ll get off then.’

  Claire goes to the door. She opens it and says, ‘Sammy reckons he’s a poof.’

  ‘Dave?’

  ‘Yeah. Goes to some secret club in Rotherhithe, he says.’

  ‘Oh yeah?’

  ‘See you tomorrow.’

  Claire goes and I make a cup of tea and sit at the table for a bit. I look over at Mum snoring and I wonder where she’s put Dad’s money. I look at the dishes she’s left dumped up in the sink after I’ve left it all tidy. I look at the mess everywhere, the grey dirty walls and rotten window frames and the smell of the damp and I think how it would be to live somewhere nice and clean and comfy.

  Jack starts coughing and I go in to him and pick him up. ‘There, there now, you’re all right,’ I tell him.

  I take him into the kitchen where it’s a bit warmer and get the cough mixture from under the sink. I put him on my knee at the table and give him a spoonful. He keeps on coughing for a bit and then he settles and leans against me. I stroke his hair and rub his back and I can feel how hot he is, even though it’s a cold night. I feel him going back to sleep. I’ll get him to the doctor’s straight after school tomorrow.

  I take him back to bed and lie him down. He snuggles up to Georgie and I look at them both and I’m thinking how I can get hold of enough money to get us out of here and into somewhere decent where a little boy won’t be coughing his lungs up.

  I go back to the kitchen. The stink tells me Mum’s shat herself. I sit at the table, and I look over at that mean selfish woman lying in her own filth, and I know what I’m going to do.

  I put my coat on again and take a kitchen knife off the draining board. I go into the bedroom, prise up the floorboard and take out Johnny’s gun. The cold metal feels good in my hand. I thumb the catch, spin the cylinder and check it’s full. I close it and check the safety. I put it in my coat pocket, go out onto the landing and lock the door behind me. I put the key behind a loose bit of skirting board, go upstairs to Lizzie’s and knock on her door.

  She opens it and says, ‘You all right, love?’

  ‘Yeah, but I’ve got to go out for a bit. They’re asleep. Can you look in, make sure they’re all right for me?’ ‘Key in the usual place?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Go on, you’re all right.’

  ‘Thanks, Lizzie.’

  As I get to the stairs she says, ‘You heard anything?’

  ‘No. You?’

  ‘No.’

  I go down the stairs and into the street. I’m hoping he’s still in the Elgin. It’s getting near
closing time and I walk fast past the Warwick, onto Golborne and down to the Grove. I get to the Elgin and go in. It’s packed now and I push through the press of bodies and try to spot Dave. Someone’s grabbing my arse and I twist away from him and see Dave sitting at a table with some of his firm grouped round him. He sees me and gets up. I turn and make my way back through the crowd to the door. I look round to make sure he’s following me and I go out through the door and walk a few yards up the street. He comes out of the pub and sees me. I walk a bit further and turn into an entry. Dave follows me in and leans on the wall opposite me.

  ‘I’ll do it,’ I say.

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘I want to do it quickly.’

  ‘All right.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘I’ve got to get the word out that he’s done Johnny first.’

  ‘I never knew you were stupid as well as weak.’

  He comes towards me clenching his fist. ‘You fucking watch it, you little cunt.’

  I whip the gun out and point it at his face. ‘Recognise this?’ I say.

  He stands back against the wall and says, ‘Hang on now, Rina.’

  ‘You tell people Nick’s done it after I’ve killed him.’

  ‘Eh?’

  ‘Or he’ll be tooled up and waiting for you, won’t he?’

  He thinks for a bit, then says, ‘Yeah, I suppose.’ ‘This way we surprise him. Get it?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘And I want a monkey for it.’

  ‘Fuck off.’

  I press the gun barrel against the middle of his forehead and pull back the hammer.

  ‘You’re a fucking worthless cunt like your brother, and I’ll drop you right here if you don’t stop mucking me about.’

  He’s shaking now, inside his sharp coat.

  ‘All right,’ he says.

  ‘Two hundred at my house, five o’clock tomorrow, the other three when it’s done. And I want to know where he goes of a night and what he does. All right?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  I can hear voices and laughter back in the street. The pub’s closing. I put the gun away and walk back to the street. Dave’s behind me. His mates are standing outside the pub. They see us coming out of the entry and I pull Dave to me and kiss him and say goodnight. His mates whoop and laugh. One of them gives a wolf whistle. I walk away up the hill, spit out the taste of beer and fags, and I’m feeling good, like I’m finding my strength. As I turn the corner, I can see Dave laughing with the others.

  • • •

  As I go up the stairs, I can see our door’s wide open and I can hear Jack coughing. I run into the bedroom and he’s lying naked on the bed. Georgie’s got a bowl of water and Lizzie’s holding a wet cloth on his forehead.

  Lizzie says, ‘He’s ever so hot, Reen, and he’s been coughing his little heart out.’

  I can see the cough mixture on the table. I pick him up and cradle him. I can feel how hot he is and the way he’s trembling.

  I say, ‘I’m taking him to the hospital.’

  ‘How are you going to get him there?’ asks Lizzie.

  ‘I’ll have to carry him.’

  I hear footsteps on the stairs and I realise I’ve left the door open. Lizzie says, ‘Oh fuck. That’ll be a trick. Hang on.’

  She goes into the hall and I can hear her talking to someone.

  Georgie says, ‘I want to come.’

  ‘You stay here and get some sleep,’ I say.

  ‘I’m coming.’

  ‘No, Georgie.’

  She goes into the kitchen, gets her coat from the back of the door and puts it on. I get the gun out of my pocket and put it back under the floorboard just as Lizzie comes back into the bedroom.

  ‘The trick’s got a car,’ she says. ‘He’s going to drive us to the hospital.’

  ‘How come?’ I say.

  ‘Don’t worry about it.’

  ‘But …’

  ‘Come on.’

  Lizzie picks up the old shawl off the bed and puts it round Jack, and then she pushes me out the door and on to the landing. There’s an old boy in a black hat and overcoat with a white moustache and round glasses standing on the landing. He looks nervous when he sees us and scurries down the stairs in front of us. His car’s parked outside. He opens the door and me and Jack and Georgie get in the back. I smell the leather and sink into the soft seat. Jack’s still hot and trembling in my arms. He coughs some phlegm into the shawl and I can see blood in it. Lizzie and the old man get in the front.

  He starts the engine and Lizzie says, ‘Paddington General, Harrow Road. Do you know it, Bernard?’

  ‘Not really,’ says Bernard.

  ‘Opposite Marylands Road. Go to the end and turn left.’

  Bernard drives the car through the back streets to Harrow Road and we pull up in front of the hospital.

  Lizzie says, ‘You go in and get him seen to and we’ll wait for you just round that corner.’

  She points to a turning just beyond the hospital.

  Bernard says, ‘I can’t be waiting.’

  ‘Shall we go and see your wife then?’

  ‘Oh, well …’ he says.

  Lizzie puts her hand on his leg and says, ‘I think you’ll be happy enough waiting, you old dog.’

  I get out of the car with Jack. Georgie follows me to the main door of the hospital. Just as I’m going in, Georgie points to a sign by the door.

  ‘Emergency. It’s over there,’ she says.

  We walk to another door further along the building and go in. There’s noise coming from a room off the corridor on the right and I look into a dimly lit room with rows of benches with people sitting and lying on them. Some are asleep and some look pretty bashed up and drunk with it. There’s an old geezer shouting at the far side of the room, and people are telling him to shut up. A nurse is going along the front row of seats. She’s talking to people and writing in a book she’s carrying. There’s a young Indian bloke in a white coat leaning against the wall behind her, yawning.

  Jack starts coughing and I go up to the nurse and say, ‘Can you help him, please?’

  ‘Take a seat.’

  ‘He’s really bad.’

  I show Jack to her, but she just looks down at her book and says, ‘Take a seat.’

  I turn to the bloke in the white coat and say, ‘He’s really bad.’

  ‘You’ll have to see the nurse,’ he says.

  Jack’s coughing really badly now. I go right up to him and hold Jack up.

  ‘Please, will you have a look at him. Please!’

  Jack gives a big cough and then a rasping sort of noise when he breathes in. The Indian bloke looks down at Jack and feels his forehead. He takes a tube thing from round his neck, sticks the ends of it in his ears and puts another end on Jack’s chest. He moves the thing around on his chest for a bit.

  ‘How long has he been like this?’

  ‘He’s been coughing for a couple of weeks, I suppose.’

  ‘The fever?’

  ‘Just tonight. Couple of hours maybe.’

  ‘Longer,’ says Georgie.

  He puts the tube thing back round his neck, takes Jack off me and says, ‘Come with me.’

  He strides off towards a door at the back and we follow him. The nurse calls out, ‘What on earth do you think you’re doing, doctor?’

  ‘Emergency,’ he says, over his shoulder.

  ‘They’re all …’

  The door slams shut on her words and we follow him down a long corridor to a door at the end.

  He stops and says, ‘He’s very ill. I’m taking him in for treatment. Wait here and someone will come and take the details.’

  ‘Will he be all right?’

  ‘I can’t say. Wait here.’

  He takes Jack through the door and I can see bright lights and the end of a bed with a black metal frame as the door swings shut. We sit down on a bench and I’m kicking myself for going out and not being there when he got feverish. Georgie’s sitting
next to me staring straight ahead of her.

  I say, ‘Go and tell Lizzie to take you back with her.’ She shakes her head.

  ‘Do as I tell you.’

  ‘No.’

  I take her arm, turn her towards me and say, ‘I’m telling you to …’

  The door opens and a West Indian nurse appears. She looks at me clutching Georgie’s arm and says, ‘Everything all right here?’

  ‘Yes,’ I say.

  The nurse comes and stands in front of us. She’s tall and fat and I can feel her white apron brushing against my knees. She smells all clean. She takes a pen out of her top pocket and raises up a board she’s holding.

  ‘Patient’s name?’ she asks.

  I give her Jack’s name and address and his age and that and she asks where his parents are. I tell her his Dad’s away in the army and his mother works nights, and she looks at me a bit strange and writes something down.

  I say, ‘When will he be out?’

  ‘He’s been admitted for treatment. You come back at midday tomorrow and go by main entrance, ask for the children’s ward and the nurse or the doctor will see you.’

  ‘Will he be all right?’

  ‘You go now. You come tomorrow and you bring your mother.’

  She opens the door, and turns and looks at us for a moment and then leaves. The door swings shut with a hissing sound.

  I stand up and say, ‘Come on then.’ Georgie doesn’t move.

  ‘We can’t stay here all night,’ I say.

  ‘You go. I’m staying.’

  ‘You can’t.’

  ‘Go.’

  I’m standing there wondering what to do. It’s all official in here and I saw the way that nurse was wondering why there was no grown-up with us. If they send someone round and see the state of Mum they could take Georgie and Jack away and put them in a kids’ home. I grab Georgie’s arm and pull her along the corridor. She starts wailing and biting my wrist, but I just keep dragging her along and luckily no-one sees us. When we get into the emergency room, there’s so much noise and kerfuffle with people shouting and waving their arms about, no-one notices us passing through.

  Once I get her onto the street, she calms down and goes silent and sullen. We walk round the corner and I can see the car parked a little way up the street. As we get nearer, I can hear someone whimpering. Bernard’s in the back seat and his head’s bobbing back and forward. I hold Georgie back and pull her into a doorway. Bernard lets out a juddering sort of a sigh and slumps forward. Lizzie sits up beside him. I give it a moment and then we go to the car.